I've been awake since 4:30am with jet lag. I stayed in bed until 6am and then went into the living room lit with that lovely white dawn light creeping through the window and made coffee.
So. No roommates. I'm wracking my brain here trying to come up with a solution. I'm not panicking but I am feeling a little overwhelmed. I've literally been sitting here in the shadowy dawn of my living room checking in with Jesus as to where He would like me to be. The fact that my plans keep falling through is questionable, and yet I need to move by the 29th of this month. I've even examined the possibility that I might need to be in Orange County for another month or two, as well as searching for any doubt about even going to LA at all.
After all of this debate I really feel in my gut that not only am I ready to move to LA, but I need to. I also need to move out of Orange County sooner rather than later, because it's time to move on from this part of my life. Doing this alone was not my first choice, but I know that if that's how it's got to be, I'll do it. Albeit realistically I may need to stay here a couple of weeks longer, and my lovely and fabulous friend Ty said I can stay with him while I'm looking for an apartment. And who knows what will come up. It might not be my ideal, but it might turn out to be better than I originally anticipated. I am scared and I do feel a little lonely, but I just feel it in my gut that if I want the career that I want this needs to happen. And I'm ready for it. Even if it means not being able to afford cable or wireless internet or a car or a cell phone; I'm good at operating on B plans. I can make do. It's only for now, and it's worth it. I feel like Jesus has something in the works here that I can't see; I just know there's a lot of change ahead, and I can trust in that.
-K
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