Medium Rare

So this morning I downloaded a ringtone for my phone and I called Verizon to make sure it was gonna charge my bank account. The customer service guy answers and the phone call goes something like this:

Guy: Thank you for calling Verizon Wireless, may I have your first name?
Me: Catherine.
Guy: Hi Catherine, how are you today?
Me: Good, thank you, how are you?
Guy: Medium rare. Like a STEAK.
Me: .... (pause) ... I haven't heard that one before...and I talk to a lot of customer service reps.
Guy: Yeah, I like to change it up a little (pause). Medium rare. A little pink and soft in the middle but tough on the outside.
Me: (fake laugh). A hah...?
Guy: Easy to bite into, though.
Me: Umm..
Guy: Yep, medium rare. Easy to nibble.
Me: It's too early for this. Now I'm completely blindsided.
Guy: (laughs) Although...is it possible to be blindsided by a completely blind person?
Me: What?
Guy: You just got blindsided by a completely blind person (laughs). Medium rare.
Me: (fake laugh) Well, then... (long pause).
Guy: So, what can I do for you?
Me: Well, I downloaded a ring tone and -
Guy: What ring tone did you download?
Me: Uhh...Amy Winehouse. So I downloaded the ring tone and -
Guy: Oh. Amy Winehouse, huh?
Me: Yes..
Guy: (pause). I don't care for her.
Me: Oh.
Guy: That whole Rehab song...(starts singing) I said nooooo....nooooo...noooo...
Me: Right, well yes but -
Guy: Yeah. I don't care for her.
Me: She's very popular in England.
Guy: I guess I'm not English.
Me: I guess not.

What. the hell.

I dread to think what would have happened if I'd downloaded Tupac, as I originally planned.


In other news, Pat got back last night! The rest of the evening involved wine and piano and good conversation and That 70's Show. Delightful.

I'm applying for theatre internships. It's a wonderfully motivating feeling. This morning is coffee (when is it not?) and Michael Jackson and sorting through old research papers. I'm finding a direction and hopefully it'll take me where I want to go.

-K