10th and Main

I was in Santa Ana last night. I took the bus, got off on 10th and Main, and got lost looking for 1010. I ended up at a Chinese restaurant. I turned around and after a few minutes I was walking next to this guy. His name was Jeffrey. Jeffrey was 22. Jeffrey was stoned. He offered to help me find 1010, which I accepted. He gave me a joint, which I politely declined. We ended up walking into a Bah Mitzvah. I thanked Jeffrey for his help and wished him luck finding his bus.

I also spent a fabulous Friday with a cup of tea and numerous Fosse musicals. I don't know how it happened. I watched Cabaret and before I knew it I'd gone through Sweet Charity, A Chorus Line and Fosse and it was 11pm. Perfection.

So I got a job at J. Crew for the holidays. I started a couple of weeks ago and I'm so relieved to have a job. I also got a call from a Borders, so I think I'm going to have two jobs and see what happens. I'm really broke and I need as many hours as I can get! I really don't want to work in retail and I wish I was doing something I actually enjoy, but you gotta count your blessings!

I'm really thinking about what I want to do once I leave OC, and it's daunting but exciting. I just want to be happy. I'm taking a jazz class soon (can't wait!), I'm applying to the internship in December, and I'm going to save as much as I can so that I can move out of here. I'm turning 25 in just over a month (dear god) and I just want to be happy. I love being in my 20s and I love not having everything planned out, but it feels like we're constantly timing ourselves and comparing ourselves and pressuring ourselves by thinking I should have done something by now. It comes as no surprise to anyone that I'm a bit of a cynic. I'm skeptical, I rationalise, I'm a dry wit. But at the same time I'm passionate about life. I love to travel, I love being spontaneous, I believe in trying everything once, and my absolute favourite thing to do in the world is to make people laugh.

I can't wait to move and meet new people and live my life. It doesn't mean that I can't start living my life now but I feel like everything is in transition. I think about what it was like being a kid when everything you did you did at 100 miles an hour at 100%. It was incredible. You ran till your legs felt like they were going to fall off and you danced like crazy in public and you sang at the top of your lungs. You felt completely alive and you weren't even aware of it. And I'm going to live my life like that again.

-K